FYI: GOD HAS A GOD, AND RELIGION TOO!

Even God needs man's protection! 

The great Mahatma Gandhi once observed: "God has no religion."

"And God has no god or gods either,"I chimed in. "That's because one particularly selfish, violent, and invisible (cynics call it non-existent) desert god had all the other gods for breakfast, and burped  menacingly: 'There is no god but yours truly, the one and only creator, destroyer and ruler of the universe, got it?'" Or something like that. 

"Wow," I went on, "that makes him a godless god, an atheist, and a heretic all rolled into one. Cool! Welcome to the club, God!" I enthused, hurriedly laying out the welcome mat.

"Tut, tut, tut," weighed in Zarathustra, Nietzsche's mountain man. "The most ungodly word has just been uttered by a god himself,'' he noted cynically. But he insisted that all the other gods were not gobbled up by the desert god.

"Neither did they die lingering in the twilight, although that lie is told. On the contrary, they once upon a time laughed themselves (at the desert god's boast) unto death!,"  my friend Zara said.

(Note: Most quotes are approximate, intentionally misquoted, by me, and certainly not verbatim!)

It was really just an informal discussion, a witty bandying of observations based on a single, misquoted "God quote". Nevertheless, we had a great time giving ourselves a pat on the back for our great sense of humour, our wit and wisdom, and our penetrating insights -- sorry, that's all we can think of at the moment -- smart guys that we were.

... AND THEN THE BUBBLE BURST!

A fourth participant, a young atheist, threw a spanner in the works. "My dear honorable sirs," he said, "with all due respect, I must say that I beg to differ. Forgive me for saying so, but I declare that, based on incontrovertible facts, God certainly has a religion, and, what's more, he has a god to kowtow to."

Total silence, raised eyebrows and amused looks followed. "Well, my good young man," said Zara, breaking the silence and smiling condescendingly, "this place isn't exactly a parliament or a courthouse, though we must confess that we feel good about being called honorable people. But of course we certainly are honorable people. Now, do us a favor and pray tell who this god of God is, and what is God's religion, will you?." 

"My pleasure, honorable sirs," said the cocky atheist. "There's a truism that every god has a guru lurking behind him and that it's the wily, lying and scheming guru who is manipulating men and gods alike! 

"Gods are but clay in his hands. He creates and fashions gods in his own image, puts words in their mouth,  have his raves and rants written down in the so-called "holy books," and then proclaims, threatens and cites chapter and verse as the "word of God."

In short, the guru is the maker, mentor, minder and mouthpiece of the boogeyman called God who is, of course, blind, deaf, dumb, impotent, invisible, immaterial and an airy-fairy nothing -- a figment of the guru's imagination." 

"Such is the machinations of the dodgy and deceiving guru," the young atheist pointed out. 

"Truth be told, the guru is in fact the god of God and his raves and and rants God's religion. It's obvious, in your face and as simple as that," the young man concluded.

You could hear a pin drop!

***

A CLASSIC QUOTE
A classic, witty and sarcastic quote on the invisible thin-air God

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
-- Delos McKown, author and university professor.

Man never really feared God. Man only feared man. (Me)

Don Quixote had at least a windmill to tilt his lance at. We atheists have but thin air!
-- (Me)

I do not believe in God because I do not believe in Mother Goose.
-- Clarence Darrow

If God made us in his (sic) own image, why are we not invisible and immaterial? (Me)

No doubt man created gods in his own image. You only have to pick up a god by the scruff of its (yes, god is "it!") neck to see the blinking, wriggling asshole that is man in him.

Catastrophes happen when God gets up from the wrong side of the bed and goes berserk in a horrendous killing spree that his own devotees describe as "Act of God". (Me)

God is the guru when the guru's high on hashish. The Devil is the guru when the guru's drunk. Such is the amazing Jekyll & Hyde personality of the guru!  (Me)

God: The fantastic powers attributed to me by the guru seem highly exaggerated. Nevertheless, I really love it, so keep 'em a-comin'. (Me)