To Haw-Haw is Better Than to Jaw-Jaw

Some superstitious people were setting off firecrackers "to scare away evil spirits"
A skeptic asks "but does it work?"
"Yes," came the reply, "do you see any of them now?"
(inspired by an old joke)

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The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
(A saying. Notice the sarcastic word "look.")

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Desert God to Mother Nature: "Look ma, no body!"

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God is the guru when the guru's high on hashish.
The Devil is the guru when the guru's drunk
Such is the Jekyll & Hyde personality of the dodgy guru.

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Gott strafe England
God save the queen
God this, God that
God the other thing
Good God, said God
I've got my work cut out!
(an old saying)

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Catastrophes happen when God gets up from the wrong side of the bed and goes on a horrendous killing spree which his own devotees call the Act of God.

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It's better to say "God blessed me with a dozen children" than to say "we've got nothing better to do."

Similarly, it's better to say "thank God for putting all these good food on the dinner table" than to say "I have to work my ass off -- even beg, borrow or steal-- to put food on the table."

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Visitor: "God has been mighty kind to your field, Mr Farmer."
Farmer: You should have seen what happened to it when I wasn't around.
(from the Internet)

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Excuse me, I'm looking for the book "Proof of God's Existence"
Store staff: This way please to the Fiction Department.
(inspired by a joke)

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We love God - fried, boiled, baked, and BBQ-ed -- and pass the ketchup and mustard, please.

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True story
"Why do you say 'Gosh' if you don't believe in God?" snapped a cantankerous old geyser.
"And why did you say 'by Jove' all the time if you don't believe in Jupiter, the old Roman god?" I countered.
We both went quiet smirking at one another, and we never heard ourselves uttering "by Jove!" or "Gosh!" ever again.

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A colleague bade me a "see you" while leaving after finishing his work.
I mumbled back a "see you" and wished him, under my breath, "may your God be with you."

You see, I don't want anyone, man or God, breathing down my neck while I'm doing porn on the Web.

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A young man in his Sunday best was smiling and looking up to the sky. He wasn't praying or greeting God by any chance. He was simply posing for a satellite photo. (seen on Internet)

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Spook addict: God gave this land to me
Atheist: And God gave a dozen scrawny kids to the dirt poor couple at the edge of the slum.

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Spook believer: I believe in supernatural beings, such as God, Satan, angels, souls and spirits.
Atheist: I believe in Cinderella, Jack & Jill, Humpty-Dumpty, Alice in Wonderland, the Mother Goose and the Pied Piper.

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Spookist: I believe in Heaven and Hell.
Atheist: And I believe Nasa has a secret chocolate factory on Mars.

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All Souls Day: When Heaven opened up its gate and all hell broke loose.

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Spook devotee: I've seen saints and angels come marching in.
Atheist: And I've seen big cats of the jungle queuing up and trying to purr like a kitty at the butcher's section of the supermarket.

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What is mind?
Not matter.
What is matter?
Never mind!
(An old joke. Note that "not matter" and "never mind" have double meanings.)

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Adam was known to his descendants as the First Banana Man -- whatever that means -- as the rumor goes.